Flirtatiously twisting the smooth golden ring on the ring finger, you understand that the less fortunate friends, who have not stepped over the threshold of the registry, did not draw out their lucky ticket in the life lottery. It was you who were brought to the solemn painting under the strict gaze of the monumental registrar ladies, Mendelssohn’s march sounded for your ears, and it was you who were drunk, so loudly shouted “bitterly”. But it’s not at all bitter to you, but to the one who spends the precious years of his life in a house with papier-mâché walls, and instead of a reliable shoulder, the spouse receives only temporary support from the "civil husband".
It is no secret that such thoughts sometimes rush through pretty heads of married ladies, who reasonably talk about those who chose life without an official stamp on marriage. How often such pairs are predicted of a short existence and blamed for the frivolity of intentions! Here are the most common clichés about couples who are not in a hurry to pay state duty, having received an official marriage certificate:
- "for him it is not serious"
- "he just lives with her, and marries another"
- “if a woman who defended the benefits of a“ civil marriage ”were summoned to the registry office, she would instantly forget about all her principles and beliefs”
- "you are not husband and wife, but cohabitants"
- and this is just the beginning of the list. Meanwhile, such couples continue to exist, despite the criticism of girlfriends and neighbors. And in comparison with officially married and married friends and relatives, they successfully enjoy the advantages of their position.
Advantages of unregistered relationships
- Money and property. Surprised? Of course, this is one of the strongest arguments of opponents of a “civil marriage”, frightening women that a partner will leave them with nothing at the first opportunity, and no court will take up the division of such an informal family. But not every girl expects from the marriage a significant improvement in their own financial situation, claiming half the gain, in case of divorce. Many women enter into a serious relationship, having their own baggage behind them - assets, accounts, real estate, further transactions with which they would prefer to carry out without involving their spouse.
- Children. Despite the fact that part of the brides are terribly afraid of not having time to sign the delivery and reach the altar with significantly rounded forms, there are also those to whom the “father” filled in on the birth certificate of the baby does not bode well. And it's not at all the bad pedagogical qualities of an unrecognized parent - some people want to take advantage of the benefits and benefits offered by the state, while others, not so mercantile, have already encountered the tenacious grip of the bureaucratic system and prefer not to engage their partners in paperwork. After all, the officially recognized spouse automatically receives paternity - which means that he will be required to endless consent, help and confirmation.
- Freedom. Yes, yes, the quality that is automatically attributed to men is inherent in the weaker sex. Registered marriage, especially in the presence of children, simply will not allow lovers of freedom to flee from the family nest, collecting only a suitcase with cosmetics and clothes. Divorce, the division of children and property, and a lingering paper relationship with an already hateful man, some women seem to be too expensive for official marriage.
All these arguments look too practical, devoid of any bloom of romance? Well, the depth of feelings is checked and the most pragmatic couples - both men and women who collect cream from unregistered marriages, frankly admit that when an urgent need arises they are ready to appear before the minister of the registry and formalize their relationship according to all the rules. Just the moment has not come yet ...
Text: Vera Guler